Relationship Healing
Living a Victorious, Christ-centered life




Sing in your heart to the Lord














Love and Purity Before and During Marriage





1.        We are to glorify God in our body because it does not belong to us, it belongs to the Lord. This

           applies to the marriage relationships as well. Everything done with the body should bring glory and

           honor to God. (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)



2.        Our bodies are supposed to be treated in a pure and holy manner, and each person should learn

           how to respect their body, and their spouse’s body in sanctification and honor, not in lustful

           passion. (1 Thessalonians 4: 3-5)



3.        Humans are made in the image of God, and should not have relations like animals do. Animals are

           not motivated by love, but instinct. People should be motivated by love and unselfishness. The

           purpose of marriage relations is to bring the couple closer together in heart, mind, soul and body.

           The focus should not be on the body, but on the inner person, and the union of the thoughts and

           emotions of the couple. If physical pleasure is the focus it becomes selfish and lustful, and the

           couple will be hurt in their inner person, and not feel close to each other. As a test, if people don’t

           feel closer to each other after having relations, then it was done in a selfish or lustful manner.




4.        Couples should have an agreed upon time of abstinence when they do not engage in marriage

           relations, to devote themselves to prayer, fasting and spiritual growth. (1 Corinthians 7:5) They

           can learn self-control and self-discipline in this way, and develop a deeper love and respect for

           each other, similar to what they experienced before marriage while dating. This is why it is

           important to have a pure and Godly dating relationship which provides the foundation for

           self-control and unselfishness in the marriage relationship. Individuals who engage in lustful     

           thoughts, self-abuse, and an impure courtship will bring this sinful behavior into their marriage,

           and damage their partner, and their whole marriage relationship will suffer.




5.        A man who looks at women who are immodest, or looks at books, magazines, TV or video that

           stimulates him, will treat his wife in a lustful, selfish manner. This lustful attitude will create a wall

           between him and his wife. When he touches his wife she will not feel love, but selfishness. She

           will feel used and taken advantage of, and it will hurt her deeply in her heart and mind. Every time

           her husband touches her she will tense up, and feel abused. She will quickly learn to disrespect

           her husband, and feel bitter thoughts towards him. This will be an invisible wall between them

           throughout their married life and they will not be able to connect and love each other the way God



6.        The husband’s response to this problem is that he feels neglected by his wife, and hurt that she

           does not care about him. He quickly learns to resent his wife and feel that she doesn’t understand

           or care, and all he can feel is rejection and loneliness. An invisible wall is built by the husband to

           further separate him from his wife. As a result, both husband and wife feel hurt and isolated from              each other, and the marriage relationship that was supposed to unite the couple in pure and Godly              love has become a wall of division. This separation between husband and wife affects their

           children, and the children cannot connect properly with both parents. When the children can’t

           connect with the parents, they can’t connect properly with the other children either.



7.        The above problems often originate with a man, but a woman can contribute to these concerns

           and fall into the same temptations herself. A woman must be careful about how she dresses, acts

           and talks, so that she doesn't create a stumbling block for men by encouraging lustful thoughts or

           actions. When the flesh is crucified, and people walk in the Spirit and practice the fruits of the

           Spirit, every area of their life, including their marriage and family will be transformed. (Gal



For more information contact us at:

Legge Relationship Health

PO Box 262

Listowel Ontario, N4W 3H4

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

- Eph. 4:32 & 5:1-2

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